ves meteor - commencement edition 2016

Volume V | Commencement Issue | 1

the meteorstudent-led newspaper

volume 5 commencement 2016

Virginia Episcopal School | The Meteor | 2

HALLIE FEINMAN ’18EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Well, this is it. It’s hard to believe it’s the end of the school year, isn’t it? Feels like only yesterday when we arrived on

campus, new binders and pencils in hand, ready to take on the world. Everyone tan and excited to hear how classmates spent their vacations, everyone stressed to come back to class after three months of goofing around—it was great! Where did the time go?

I know we’re all excited to start summer vacation, but I have to admit, I’m a little sad to see the school year end. VES is my home-five-minutes-away-from-home, and most of my favorite memories from the past year happened here. What will I do without scooters on Box or conversations made entirely of facial expressions during break? How can I go on without frockets or visits to the bookstore or impromptu sing-alongs? The world may keep turning without weekend activities and too many clubs to handle, sure, but I won’t like it.

Tomorrow the seniors go back to square one, becoming the freshmen of their new schools.Juniors are no longer juniors; Sophomores are no longer sophomores.

I’m going to miss you guys this summer, but soon enough we’ll be back, excited to hear how everyone’s summers were, but a little afraid for

classes to start. New pencils in hand, new binders in our bags, we’ll be ready to take on the world.

And that’s when I’ll see you next.

HAGS, VES. You deserve it.

Hallie Feinman ’18

EDITOR-IN-CHIEFHallie Feinman ’18

WRITERS Meredith Antley ’17, Zach Baugher ’17, Mary Cook ’17, Mary Mac Cowan ’16, Sarah Gordon Duerson ’18, Chloe Ekberg ’16, Hallie Feinman ’18, Benjamin Khoury ’18, Rachel Naumann ’16, Paul Skorcz ’18, Wilson Smith ’19, Caroline Taylor ’17, Peyton Tompkins ’18, Preston Williams ’16

PHOTOGRAPHERS Mary Stuart Battle, Stella Bradford ’18, Lindeman Edgar ’16, Elizabeth Edmunds ’18, Madison Hall ’17, William Liang ’17, Alison Tuck, Adam Underwood, Esther Underwood, Catherine Varner

DESIGN AND EDITORIAL HELPEsther Underwood, Catherine Varner

INTERESTED IN WRITING FOR THE METEOR NEXT YEAR?

HOW ABOUT DESIGN OR PHOTOGRAPHY?

If you want to be part of this awesome club, contact Hallie Feinman, Editor-in-Chief, at

[email protected]!


The new track and field team had a fantastic first season. Although VES had

a team in past years, The idea of reviving the team started brewing last year, and was officially formed in the spring of 2016.

You may have seen them down in Pope stadium, watching the sprinters run in front of the bleachers, watching the long distance team run around campus, or the field events being practiced in the pits. One thing

is for certain—all of the track members worked their hardest this year to bring what they could to the team.

The team had three meets: one at Woodberry, one at home, and one at the conference meet. At all three, VES won at least one event—an impressive feat given team injuries or other various reasons.

On May 7, the team had a great end to the season. The girls won 2nd place overall and every

VES girl who participated in the meet medaled: Ellen Huang - 3rd place; Ariel Mial - 1st place; Kate O’Brien - 2nd place; Ivy Drew - 1st and 2nd place; Janae Bennett - three 1st place and one 3rd place medal. Boys Joseph Stanley and Sunny Sun also ran tremendous races.

Dubbing themselves “Campbell’s Crew” after their coach, Mr. Campbell, the team hopes to recruit even more athletes next year and improve on the victories achieved this year.

OFF TO A RUNNING START VES Track and Field score big in first season since hiatusBY BENJAMIN KHOURY ’18


THEY’RE SMOKIN’ HOT! VES baseball doubles wins since last seasonBY PAUL SKORCZ ’18

With a lot of hard work and three seniors to help rally the team, Bishops’ boys baseball made the best of a 2-10 season.

Chip Jones and Will Cook returned from last year to coach the team. Chase Mooney, George Battle, and Paddy Cotter were the only seniors on the team, but they each helped instruct and motivate younger teammates to the best of their abilities. The seniors will be sorely missed by both their teammates and coaches due to their leadership and talents at playing ball.

Much of the team was comprised of underclassmen, and although many of these players had played in previous seasons, the entire team needed to put in a lot of hours on the diamond to improve their skills. This work ethic paid off in the end, because, although a 2-10 season may be very underwhelming, when compared to the Bishops’ records from the past two seasons (both of which had only one victory per season) this year was a vast improvement. The entire team has enjoyed the season immensely, and they strive to further improve their record in the 2017 season.


SPOTLIGHT ON GIRLS SOCCERWhen it comes to soccer, Bishop girls go all outBY MARY COOK ’17

Girls Soccer. Hot damn. This season was very successful for our team. We had some returning players including five

seniors (Preston Williams, Elizabeth Alford, Gracie Thompson, Sidney Thomson, and Sarah Bonyak) who have continually helped lead our team and encourage the newer players. At the same time, eight freshmen joined the ranks this season and contributed to our team’s success—three (Grace Williams, Katie Thomson, and Ariel Mial) even ascended to the starting lineup!

Every girl has worked incredibly hard this season, from running the two laps at the start of practice, to learning new skills. Abby Keenan scored 27 goals this season—beating both the girls’ and boys’ school record. Gracie Thompson leads the team in assists with a total of 11. She has also scored 11 goals this season.

After winning 1 - 0 in overtime against North Cross in the BRC semifinal game, the team went on to lose 2 - 1 in a hard-fought conference championship game against Eastern Mennonite in Harrisonburg, VA on Saturday, May 14.

Go Girls Soccer! Go Bishops!


CURTAINS CLOSE ON ANOTHER SHOWOh, the thinks you can think with the cast of SeussicalBY MEREDITH ANTLEY ’17

The best place to watch a show is from the wings: behind the scenes, from the sides of the stage, in the dressing room, or from

the light box where you can feel a different and authentic view of a performance. In the audience, a musical or play can be just as an incredible, but being behind the scenes, well, there’s just nothing quite like it. For Barksdale’s final performance, Mrs. Tuck and Ms. Burton directed 40-plus students in Seussical, a musical based on Dr. Seuss’s famous characters and stories. If you happened to be on campus two weeks before opening night, you could pinpoint these students easily. We were all half awake, smiling, and more than likely humming along to our opening number, “All the Things You Can Think.” There’s a lot more that goes on behind the scenes of a musical that characterize a show. For us, it was actors up to their eyeballs in water bottles, empty chip bags littering the stairwell up to Barksdale, actors who were sick, actors who couldn’t show up due to athletic competitions, and of course allergies. I don’t think we had a full rehearsal with every cast and crew member until we were eight shows away from opening night. With illness and absence, we weren’t actually able to run the show in one night until two days before opening night. Backstage, we were all stressed out, ticked off, and needed to sleep for the next week and a half. At that moment, we as a cast all realized at that we were either going to embarrass ourselves, or we were going to bring it. And we brought it. As a member of Barksdale’s farewell performance, I’d like to thank all the parents for the chips and water, Mrs. Tuck for her fabulous directing, Ms. Burton for arranging everything from costumes to sound and keeping us on beat, the band for keeping us in tune, and anyone and everyone backstage that made this show as beautiful and wonderful as it was. It was one of the best casts I have ever been a part of. I can’t wait to do it all again next year in the wings of the new theater viewing a new show with a new cast.

I’ve always been told not to wish my time in high school away—that the years would fly and then one day I’d wish I could go back relive

them. There have been countless instances of holding back eye rolls as teachers, parents, and the “enlightened” seniors of years past preached, claiming; “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone,” “Live in the moment,” and “Be present.” Each one of them sounded more and more like quotes that belonged on Instagram bios and hand-woven pillows.

There were points during my time here at VES that I agreed with them; I knew how much I would miss Mr. Knebel’s imagination exercises and walking to Grammar 10 alongside Mr. McCormick. I knew I would miss seeing my friends every day, singing in Lessons and Carols every winter and tanning by the pool every spring, but there were also times when all I wanted to do was leave. I felt stuck, and dissatisfied; ready to move on from the same classrooms, the same faces, and the same people that I had been around for the past four years. I grew tired of the late-night play rehearsals—coughing up dust from the curtains as the same stage notes were given over and over again. I grew impatient with the student life talks, continuously urging us to make safe and responsible life choices. I grew frustrated hearing the words Toward Full Stature, embedded in every lecture about how the school promotes personal growth. There were times when I wanted to was scream out across the chapel “Why give us the sales pitch when we are already enrolled?”

It wasn’t until my last month of senior year that I realized how much I appreciate this school in its entirety. I am grateful for the late night talks on Wyatt with Mrs. Csatlos as we reviewed my college

applications. I will miss Magnolia Mondays with Mrs. Frazier’s advisory. I am thankful for the days when Mrs. Tuck closed the door to her classroom, allowing my F period AP Lit Class to vent about life; and I will never forget the way Mr. Smith chuckles while teaching, consistently reaffirming his love for history.

So as I sit here, writing the farewell I waited until the last minute to do, successfully sounding like an infomercial for senioritis, I want to leave you with the same, cringeworthy advice I was given time and time again; but instead of immediately writing it off, I challenge you to think it through, because in the end you have two choices: you can wish away your time here or you can take advantage of it. So listen to the lengthy sermon, pay attention to the tenth legacy talk and try to learn something from it, apply for a student leadership position—or define one on your own terms, attempt to enjoy “mandatory fun,” talk to the faculty kids on box, try things you aren’t comfortable with and don’t take yourself too seriously. When you graduate you won’t care about what people think of you (unless your name is Blurry Face…. Sorry, bad joke, had to). Your time here is what you make of it; choose wisely. Although not everyday will be a good day and it is healthy to want to move on, let the process happen on its own. There will be aspects of this place you will struggle to let go of and you will wish that you enjoyed certain moments for what they were. Go day by day checking off the list of things you never thought you would do, people you never envisioned you would befriend, and things you never thought you would accomplish and I promise time will fly.

SENIOR FAREWELL Embrace the present and enjoy lifeBY CHLOE EKBERG ’16



Book club means a lot of different things to a lot of different people. To some, it’s a chance to talk about a favorite book that “totally changed my life” and that will “totally change yours, too.” For others, it’s an excuse to get together and gossip, only briefly touching on last week’s reading.

For VES’s version of a literary society, it means pints of Ben and Jerry’s, dead dolphins, and burning swords.

Basia Librum is not for the weak of heart.

There are a few key differences between a more “typical” book club and Basia Librum. Most notably, students in Basia Librum do not read books—they discuss them. When asked why he chose to create a book club about books in general, rather than reading one specific book as a group, Mr. Knebel said, “Everyone likes to read, but people like to read their own things. If you could do [the meetings] in a theme, then there’s lots of stuff to talk about. You can bring in the most book lovers.”

Meetings are structured around a universal theme that crosses genres. Past discussion topics include swords in novels, famous literary islands, and books that make you want to eat your body weight in ice cream because of how sad they are. Along with the lively discussion, an activity is chosen to top off the night: in one meeting students received wooden swords that harken to Excalibur and the Sword of Gryffindor, during another they broke coconuts à la Cast Away, and at yet another they ate Ben and Jerry’s to soothe the nerves.

The other functions of Basia Librum include organizing Book Week, an annual celebration of all things literature, and hosting the 1st Annual Bad Poetry contest. What other book club rewards you for writing bad poetry? Who else lets you test your hand-eye coordination by burning phrases from the Jabberwocky on wooden swords? Only in Basia Librum.

BASIA LIBRUMIt’s not your grandma’s book clubBY HALLIE FEINMAN ’18

From home design to exoskeletons to Star Wars, this year’s lineup of

Advanced Studies topics was guaranteed to entertain. Seven students—Gunnar Budzyn, Chloe Ekberg, Virginia Elam, Richard Lin, Gracie Thompson, Sybil Sun, and yours truly—spent their free periods, after-school times, and witching hours preparing to present on their passions. They worked closely with faculty mentors and enlisted support from outside VES to make sure they were moving in the right direction.

Why in the world would anyone voluntarily sacrifice him/herself to academics? For senior Virginia Elam, it was a way to combine new classroom experiences with lifelong interests. “I was thinking about doing a creative writing advanced study after taking Mr. Knebel’s AP Composition class,” Elam notes, “but I also love reading books, so I

wanted to incorporate the two somehow.” After seeing the feminist perspective in Jane Eyre, she was set, combining analytical and creative skills into a set of essays discussing the women’s view of the Brontë sisters’ world.

Advanced Studies aren’t limited to writing. Richard Lin’s robotic arm and Gracie Thompson’s discussion of poverty in Zimbabwe show the diversity the program allows. Rather, the uniting factor is interest.

Have you maxed out your math, science, language, music, or other classes? Is there something going on in the world that you really want to examine? Or just something cool that you’ve always wanted to make, do, or analyze? Advanced Studies allows for just that.

Videos of this year’s programs are here on YouTube.

EN ROUTE TO ADVANCEMENT Students pursue independent studiesBY ZACH BAUGHER ’17

ROCK AROUND THE BLOCKLast chance to blow off steam before finalsBY WILSON SMITH ’19

It has been a staple of the spring for many years, but now it has a new spin on it.

That’s right—it’s the VES Block Party! From 4 - 11 p.m. on May 7, the Society Council hosted an evening filled with fun and excitement. Offering a wide

variety of games and activities ranging from obstacle courses to relay races, students competed to earn points for their society. In the end, King had the most points, winning a “sweet prize” of getting Maylynn’s before other societies.

The pool was open for those who wanted a more relaxing day, and a special dinner was served outside so the fun could keep going long into the night. Overall, the VES Block Party put a fresh twist on a fun night to remember.


https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu0_V1YO4EmuGOySZyPsxv2eHrgUL-Iqg


WORK HARD, PLAY HARDERStudents take a break from classes on Counselor DayBY PRESTON WILLIAMS ‘16

Counselor Day on April 14 was a long-awaited, much-needed break from classes. Carefully planned by the Counselor Body, the day was

full of community service and community fun.

In the morning, each grade did a Community Service project. This year, the freshman helped out at Lynchburg Grows, while sophomores and juniors prepared bags for the Potato Drop. Seniors continued their annual tradition of a car (and dog) wash; students, teachers, and even some residents at Westminster Canterbury brought their cars out to be cleaned.

Next up: lunch! Food vendors were stationed around campus, giving everyone a huge selection of foods and desserts to enjoy. Following the epic feast, the student body played a few rounds of dodgeball. While sometimes only thought of as a P.E. game of middle school years past, Counselor Day dodgeball gets heated. Seniors face off the sophomores; juniors battle the freshman; boys against boys, girls against girls. The champion class of each gender competes to win it all.

This year the sun was out, and the skies were cloudless as the classes took the field for games. As students approached, they were met with Miss Tolmie up to her elbows in cotton candy and Miss Bell trying to snag the stray poofs of it as they caught the breeze. Per usual, the giant slip ‘n’ slide was out. Students dove in the soapy pool before launching themselves down the slope. There was classic sliding, face-first diving, and even some adventurous students tried surfing down the slide. Throughout the afternoon, other contests took place, such as egg tossing, pie eating, messy twister, and the much-awaited pieing of the teachers. After a rock, paper, scissors tournament, the winning students proceeded to pie Miss Rogas, Mr. Wakefield, Miss Tolmie and Miss Jones, who ended up with whipped cream all over their faces.

Counselor Day is a chance for students to take a break from class and just have fun—sometimes to work hard, you have to play hard.


REDESIGNING YOUR DSLHeadmaster approves plans to redecorate Student LoungeBY PEYTON TOMPKINS ’18

Tired of hanging out in the dark, dreary DSL? Well, thanks to a lot of work from the Student Council, that is all about to change! Picture

bright walls, sitting on plush turquoise retro couches, or sipping on freshly brewed coffee from the stocked Keurig. Imagine pulling yourself up to the long bar on a stainless steel stool with orange faux leather seat, surfing the net with your device plugged into one of the many charging stations. That’s right—things are about to get real.

Plans designed by Peyton Tompkins and Woods Cook were recently submitted to Mr. Button and approved by Mr. Battle for the DSL renovation. Features of the new DSL include new colors, new couches with seating area, bar with stools, multiple outlets, charging stations, and a fully stocked Keurig coffee maker. If things go according to plan, the project will finish this summer, just in time for the first day of school!

AN FRQ ON SUMMER’S COMINGAP Exams. Worst thing ever?BY ZACH BAUGHER ’17

1. Evaluate the extent to which AP exams have a positive impact on the VES community. Use evidence from your life and observations in the period 2015-16.

*AANNH! AANNH! AANNH! AANNH!*

“AAAAHHHH!!!” You erupt into a shriek as you bolt upright in bed. As if by instinct, a swift punch sends your alarm clock flying into a wall (and a snooze—thank heavens). Bursting into a research-approved exercise routine, you panic as you try to review the stuff you fell asleep studying only several hours earlier. Time for Presidential Jumping Jacks! “A-HUT!” “WASHINGTON!” “ADAMS!” “JEFFERSON!” “MADISON!” “MONTGOMERRRRrrrrr…. uhh… DARN IT!” The alarm clock, moping in the corner of your room, reads 7:40. Oops. You gotta run.

The worry builds. For the first time in your life you go existential—Why am I here? Why is the College Board allowed to get rich making kids miserable? If I hadn’t hit my clock, could I have eaten breakfast? If the derivative of my life over time is always positive, must I reincarnate?—but nothing can calm you as you head into Van Every for a morning AP. Great, you think. Worst four hours of my life, here we come.

But are they, really?

Sure, tests suck. You study for hour after hour with no guarantee of a good result. But now that the dreaded AP exams are behind us, with summer coming any day and scores off in the distant future (July), why not see them for the positives?

Throughout all the suffering we know as plowing through Quizlet sets, speed-reading

CliffsNotes, taking practice tests out of Princeton Review, and going to endless review sessions, several things stay constant. The material, for one. But also, the people. In the process of preparing, you’re never pulling your hair out alone. Your classmates and friends are right beside you, thinking the same thoughts you are, thoughts you’ll laugh about over books and coffee or over ice cream at Maylynn’s when it’s all over.

So if you’re ever regretting the four hours of brainwork, look at the summery side: you’ve gotten closer with your friends, maybe made some new ones, and gotten yourself an extra two weeks of relaxation. A hard-earned reward for risking your sanity.


On Sunday, May 1, VES hosted the 7th annual Cupcakes for a Cure Event, and it was a major success! It was an afternoon filled with delightful cupcakes, pink lemonade, and amazing raffle and auction items on which to bid, raising money to support a local non-profit, the Alan B. Pearson Patient Support Fund, that benefits cancer patients in the Lynchburg area. The fund provides patients and their families relief from some of the financial stress of expensive treatments, transportation and other needs. With Van Every Gym adorned in pink fluffy paper flowers and tables filled with an assortment of hundreds of beautifully decorated cupcakes, the event drew more than 100 students, parents and others from the Lynchburg

community out to mix and mingle—all for a great cause. Raffle items included dozens of gift cards, customized goods, baskets for exam survival and chocolate needs, jewelry, and services from local companies, which all were graciously donated. The event overall raised over $4,600! T-shirts are on sale now to continue to bring in contributions. I would like to thank the amazing VES community for their incredible support and for baking hundreds of fantastic cupcakes. This event could have not been possible without Ms. Margaret Lyle Jones, my mom, Linda Duerson, and the amazing Cupcakes for a Cure Committee and team of bakers. Here’s to many more years of cupcakes!

CUPCAKES FOR A CURESupports Alan B. Pearson Patient Support FundBY SARAH GORDON DUERSON ‘18


If the Dining Hall staff can make me want to eat a salad, they can do anything. Meriwether Godsey works hard to get

involved in student life and encourage the VES community to live sustainably, understand what it means to lead a green life and make healthy choices.

You’ve probably noticed “Feed the Difference” in the fall and “Earth Week” in the spring, seen the Earth Day Poster Contest, and enjoyed the superstar foods during Nutrition Month this past March. “We try not to be preachy; that usually tends to turn more people away from our cause,” Marlene Delledera, director of dining services, says. “Students respond best to fun games and visuals that help them make simplify healthy, sustainable decisions.”

Mrs. Delledera cites sustainability as one of the core values of the Meriwether Godsey company. In addition to the special events, the dining hall also works to promote sustainable practices on a daily basis. They recycle fried oil, cardboard, cans and bottles, and encourage environmentally friendly habits among their employees.

As far as healthy eating, Mrs. Delledera says that the company dedicates itself to promoting a healthy diet. They primarily buy fruits and vegetables that are in season, and cook most everything with trans-fat free oils.

The staff pays special attention to the presentation of healthier options, like daily salads. The prettier the salad, the more popular it will be. Now, VES and Meriwether Godsey are working on signage and symbols to indicate which dining choices are best for our bodies—a system originally designed for athletes to identify the best options before games or intense practices.

Mrs. Delledera and staff are clearly passionate about choices that are good for our bodies and our planet. She really hopes to see in the future an increase in student involvement—”A community garden or an eventful Earth Week that everybody can get behind would make student life healthy and fun,” Mrs. Delledera says. The Dining Hall is clearly doing their part; now it’s time for students to do ours.

HERE’S TO YOUR HEALTH What the Dining Hall is doing to keep you healthyBY CAROLINE TAYLOR ’17


THE 4K DOOMSDAY Why the Playstation 4.5 might be more important than you thinkBY GAMING GURU ZACH BAUGHER ’17

It’s been a bit over two years since the launch of the Playstation 4, Sony’s contribution to the eighth generation of home consoles, and so far

it’s all been swell: from Resogun to Fallout 4 to Bloodborne, there’s been a lot of good gaming going on. Considering this, on top of the fact that the seventh-gen console lasted some eight years, you would expect there’d be quite a bit of time before the next console rolls along, right?

Wrong.

Recent rumors of a Playstation 4.5—supposed to feature, among other enhancements, a twice-as-powerful GPU along with 4K Blu-Ray and game upscaling capabilities—suggest the possibility of a new trend in console gaming. This trend could be somewhat akin to the iPhone upgrade model; base models (e.g. iPhone 6; PS4) are followed by better versions of the same system (iPhone 6s, PS4.5) before moving on to a brand new product (iPhone 7, PS5), all in the span of a few years.Why might this happen? The simplest (and most mathematically intriguing) explanation may be Moore’s Law, backed by some analysis. Moore’s Law predicts that the number of transistors

in a computer chip will double about every two years, and has been entirely accurate to date. Why does this matter? More transistors in the same space means more powerful computers. As an example of this increase in power, just note the data above: roughly two years since the PS4’s release, Sony is reportedly working on a console with double the GPU power.

But why is Sony suddenly trying to cramp Apple’s style? We look to Moore’s law. In the early days of computing, when computers had little power to begin with,

multiplying this output by two didn’t change much. But today, our computers are so much better by comparison that doubling their power produces a relatively massive effect, at least on paper. The advent of ultra-high definition displays shows a demand for increasing console capability, and this demand will only increase as the ability of our favorite machines grows exponentially. Console companies will be among the most desperate not to get left out in the frenzy.

Hence, the Playstation 4.5.

Some interesting links:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moore%27s_law (Moore’s Law)

http://gematsu.com/2016/03/rumor-ps4-5-twice-powerful-gpu-deep-down-god-war-4-among-launch-titles (PS4.5 News)

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?t=crmtb01&i=y%3D2%5E(x%2F2) (Graph of y=2^(x/2) - roughly approximates increase in computer power)

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moore%27s_law

http://gematsu.com/2016/03/rumor-ps4-5-twice-powerful-gpu-deep-down-god-war-4-among-launch-titles



http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?t=crmtb01&i=y%3D2%5E(x%2F2)

http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?t=crmtb01&i=y%3D2%5E(x%2F2)


MOVIE REVIEW: THE BOSSBY RACHEL NAUMANN ’16 AND MARY MAC COWAN ‘16

On Friday, April 8, we joined Mrs. Tuck and Ms. Bell for a movie night at

our very own luxurious Regal River Ridge Stadium 14 in the Lynchburg mall. IDs in hand (the best part of turning 17), we

entered the theater to see The Boss, with only the knowledge of the Fandango reviews and the Rotten Tomato’s grade of 14 in mind. Around the dark corner of theater eight, the first sight was the overwhelming number of

middle-aged couples and their friends that somehow invited themselves to our Friday GNO. Finding four seats toward the top, seats were claimed and we relaxed for 99 minutes of Melissa McCarthy and money madness.

All she does is win (win win), no matter what (what what), she’s got money on her mind, and she can never get enough. The wise words of T-Pain are a perfect description of Michelle Darnell (Melissa McCarthy) in The Boss. The movie begins as Darnell struts out onto a stage wearing a burnt orange satin suit (matching her hair), she whips, she nae naes, she dabs. Darnell quickly goes from riches to rags, as she is busted in an insider deal and taken to federal prison, wheeling a Louis Vuitton trunk behind her. After being released, she finds herself broke of morals, family and money. She weasels her way into an old, underpaid assistant’s (Kristen Bell) family, and they hesitantly take her under their wing. A Girl Scout meeting, and a few extremely vulgar side comments later, Darnell takes over the troop and combines her business skills, with some “good as s*** brownies,” and thus, The Darnell Darlings are born.

A 14 on Rotten Tomatoes certainly does not do this movie justice, and we would recommend it 10 for 10! Grab your ticket (and your ID), and see The Boss before it’s too late!

Cast: Melissa McCarthy, Kristen Bell

Director: Ben Falcone


BISHOP ASTROLOGY

Summer Vacation EditionBY HALLIE FEINMAN ’18

How will you spend your summer vacation? Let the stars be your guide! Summer break is a time to try new things and maybe even discover something new about yourself. Use the time between now and the start of the next school year to dabble in hobbies or activities you’ve never explored but have always been curious about!

TAURUS (APR 20 - MAY 20) Relationships are your focus, and you are a fierce protector of everyone you consider to be in your inner circle. In fact, you’d give away the shirt off your back if you think there’s someone who needs it more than you. This summer, volunteer for a local charity whose mission aligns with a cause you care deeply about.

GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUN 20) You’re just as comfortable giving a lecture in front of a huge crowd of strangers as you are talking one-on-one with your BFF. Not everyone has that gift of gab, Gemini, but you’ve got it to spare! Put your talent to good use by becoming a spokesperson to promote an upcoming event in your hometown.

CANCER (JUN 21 - JUL 22)

Whoa, dude! Where’s the fire? Stop moving so frantically from Point A to Point B. Slow down, catch your breath and get your bearings to get back on the right track. Spend some time learning how to balance and center yourself so that when things get hectic again next school year, you’ll have some excellent coping skills under your belt. Yoga, anyone?

LEO (JUL 23 - AUG 23)

You’d love to have a flexible schedule, but you have so many responsibilities and obligations to take care of that being carefree and flexible seems way out of your reach. Be on the lookout for someone close to home who’s willing to help you out. Perhaps that friend or relative who always seems to show a particular interest in you is just waiting for you to ask them to become involved.

VIRGO (AUG 24 - SEP 22)

Although you thrive on routine, your usual way of doing things will soon be tested and, wow, guess what? You might actually admit that there’s a better system out there than your own! Be open to learning this summer. Take a class through the Parks & Rec department, read a few books or get to know an expert in a subject you’re already interested in to deepen your knowledge.

LIBRA (SEP 23 - OCT 22)

Your favorite pastime is getting together with friends to talk about your lives, your hopes, your dreams. It’s exciting to meet someone new, but remember: everyone isn’t who they say they are. Trust should be earned, not given away for free. Treat all newcomers with a healthy sense of respect and ask lots of questions as you get to know them better.

SCORPIO (OCT 23 - NOV 21)

Your imagination is vivid, but simply putting up a vision board and dreaming about what your life will be like once you obtain all of your heart’s desires won’t help you get to where you want to be. Put concrete plans into action so you can realize your goals. Spend time this summer getting serious about whatever it is that you want for your life.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV 22 - DEC 21)

It’s disappointing when a friend or family member brings up an unfortunate event from your past, but really, what’s the point in trying to pretend like it didn’t happen? We all make mistakes, so why not own up to yours and put them to bed once and for all? Admit error and move on. Once you’ve cleared the air, you’ll have all kinds of energy to devote to something new!


CAPRICORN (DEC 22 - JAN 19)

Are you being pulled in different directions? It’s hard to be torn between two things, especially if your close friends or family have their own distinct opinions about what you should do. In the end, you have to follow your heart and do what you feel is best. These next few months are yours to really “go for it” and develop your passion.

AQUARIUS (JAN 20 - FEB 19)

Very little gets past you, oh introspective one. This summer is the perfect time to get out of your head and get in touch with your heart. Long walks and bike rides are the perfect times to contemplate the direction you want your life to go. Consider this your summer of self-reflection!

PISCES (FEB 20 - MAR 20) True happiness isn’t anything you can prepare for, but you’ll definitely know it when you feel it. You have a sixth sense about certain things, so stick with your hunches. Your intuition rarely steers you wrong. Build some “me time” into every day so that you can stay in touch with those feelings.

ARIES (MAR 21 - APR 19) You’ve been giving a lot of thought to your relatives lately, and if there’s a distant cousin or grandparent somewhere that you haven’t talked to in a while, why not give them a call or shout-out on social media? Family is important. This is the perfect time to plan and host a family outing or a family reunion!

ves meteor - commencement edition 2016

Documents